I get baby fever OFTEN. It’s undeniable… I am thirty-something, and my baby is a whopping thirteen years old! So, it feels like it’s been eons since I held a baby of my own. But I’m not just talking about the sweet cuddly, wrinkly, heavenly-smelling babies that we get to hold in our arms, I’m also talking about the wonderfully warm & fulfilling sensation of carrying a baby in my belly. Call me crazy, but being pregnant was the single most rewarding feeling that I have ever experienced in my life… the feeling of being needed, and how my body responded to that need in such a beautiful & efficient way… the feeling of growing a life inside of me, of someone whom I had not met but already loved and called by name… the warmth & glow that I felt, and the way that complete strangers looked at me, then looked at my belly, and then looked at my face and smiled in the most loving & genuine way.
I remember one day when I was about a week away from giving birth to Madeline; I was living in New York at the time, and it was an amazing spring day in May… the kind of day that makes everyone love the City… the sun was shining through the buildings and onto the streets, the air smelled fresh, there was actually pollen & petals floating magically through the air, and everyone was walking around as if in a fairytale—blissfully happy—if for no apparent reason except for it being spring in New York. I even remember what I was wearing, as I walked about twenty blocks from a photo shoot down on Chambers Street to my midwifery checkup on 5th Avenue & East 18th Street… and maybe it was the weather that was most responsible for how I felt, but I felt sexy, and strong, full of power, and bigger & more beautiful than I have ever felt, before then and possibly even since then. I was pregnant, I was going to be a mommy to my Madeline, and I felt that the world was my playground, an adventure just waiting to be discovered.
I visit that day often, and each time I do, I can still conjure up the confident yet dreamy emotions that I felt that day, on that walk, in that time of my life; in fact, it sometimes brings tears to my eyes.
And being able to photograph & document the same wonderful feeling for someone else… someone whose belly is swollen with life and whose entire world is about to take a step into the blissfully unknown… also brings back that feeling for me. Call it baby fever, or call it living in the best memories of my past, it gives me great pleasure & emotional satisfaction to relive the wonders of being pregnant, even if through my lens.
Oh, and congratulations to Misty, who will soon be a new mommy again for the second time in thirteen years… and thank you, Misty, for letting me bask in the glow of your mama-love.