Today Michael & I celebrate our one/two year anniversary… two years from the day that we met, and one year from the day that we married. I cannot believe that I’ve turned into one of “those,” but when I think about Michael, and when I replay our on-going love story in my head, I go completely ga-ga. He is everything I could have ever hoped for in a man; in fact, he was exactly everything that was on My List, all the way down to the deal-breaking “Must own a Vanagon.”
I cannot believe that when I say I love someone, there are no ifs, ands or buts about it. I say I love Michael, and I mean it… from the passionately grandiose way that he loves, works & plays, all the way to his annoying habits, like leaving one sock anywhere & everywhere in the house, while wearing the other until he goes to bed. I love his need to be so literal, his desire to always search for what’s right, his adamant arguing, over every . little . thing. I swear I do! I love that dressing up sometimes means spray-painting his DocMartens in silver, or wearing an orange fur coat. I love that he knows exactly what he wants, down to the most minute detail… examples: crimini vs. white, wallawalla vs. yellow, carharts vs. dickies, creamed honey vs. regular, lager vs. ale, etc. etc. etc. I often say, with all seriousness, that if you spend fifteen minutes in conversation with him, then you will learn at least three new things; it’s true! Living with Michael is like living inside of an encyclopedia, and I love that about him! Michael is always supportive but never accepts defeat as an excuse. He loves with no reserve; if Michael loves someone, that person knows, and they know that they will always be taken care of, always have a friend that will pick up the phone any time of the day, and do whatever he can to make sure everyone is well. I love that he put a couch in my office so that we can chat while I work, and I love that at night, if I fall asleep on the couch, he brings me a blanket & pillow and sleeps with me. I love that when he’s outside, he is totally outside; he moves like the wind itself, or like the waves, constantly moving, sometimes with no visible pattern, but always with a purpose and always exactly the way it’s supposed to be…
And not to mention, I love me with Michael. I find that marriage suits me, and I spent many many years saying that either I wasn’t marriage material, or that I didn’t believe in marriage at all. I feel that for the first time in my life, I don’t have to be the boss all the time, and I don’t have to be right about everything, and I don’t have to have all the answers. I can just be, and I have someone to “just be” with me. We can stay up late having heated discussions about all that’s on our minds, or we can be still and not talk at all. It’s like I suddenly have another part of me that wasn’t there before… I hate to say that he filled a void in my life, but it is like he added more texture, and together, everything that was there before has just gotten better. I love knowing that my life before wasn’t missing anything, but that my life since being married has gained so much. I love planning & plotting a life for myself & Madeline, that has to be negotiated and tempered and discussed and evened out, and involves more than one set of needs & desires. I even like arguing, because I find peace in the fact that even the arguments that seem bigger than normal, will long be forgotten through the span of our lives together.
I’m not very poetic, so this is all I have to offer. So, there it is… my ode to Marriage. I love it.
Most importantly though, I love it with Michael, and I wouldn’t take it any other way!
Here are the vows that Madeline read during our wedding, and some photos from our wedding, which was not really a “wedding;” it was more of an elopement, that it involved a man, a woman, a girl, a friend and a couple of tattoo artists. perfect.
Blessing of the Apache
Now you will feel no rain,
for each of you will be shelter for the other.
Now you will feel no cold,
for each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now there will be no loneliness,
for each of you will be companion to the other.
Now you are two persons,
but there is only one life before you.
May beauty surround you both in the
journey ahead and through all the years,
May happiness be your companion and
your days together be good and long upon the earth.
Treat yourselves and each other with respect, and
remind yourselves often of what brought you together.
Give the highest priority to the tenderness,
gentleness and kindness that your connection deserves.
When frustration, difficulties and fear assail your relationship,
as they threaten all relationships at one time or another,
remember to focus on what is right between you,
not only the part which seems wrong.
In this way, you can ride out the storms when
clouds hide the face of the sun in your lives – remembering that
even if you lose sight of it for a moment, the sun is still there.
And if each of you takes responsibility for the quality of your
life together, it will be marked by abundance and delight.