Today–April 11, 2012–the day that we have unknowingly been waiting for since the moment Madeline & I became Madeline & I on May 16, 1997… Michael will adopt Madeline, and we officially and forever become the family that we already were, but with all the legal benefits.
Officially… Michael, Madeline & Me. Husband & Father/Daughter/Wife & Mother.
Madeline will be an Abegg, and in the eyes of the law… she will belong to Michael, and he to her.
My life hasn’t been ideal by the standards of what our society has deemed “ideal,” but my life, our life–Mads & mine–has been one of love & constant growth & mutual support & solidarity towards each other. In my eyes, I bore her alone. And against all odds I raised her. And with all intentions, I raised her with the hopes that she would never want or need anyone but me, until she was ready to be on her own.
And then came Michael.
You’ve all heard our story before… we met, we fell madly in love, we married.
But what most people don’t know is the story of Michael & Madeline. How from the very first time they hung out, and especially from our very first camping trip together… how they were almost immediately inseparable. How when Michael told me he loved me, I said, “Do you ever think you’ll love Madeline too?” And he said with so much conviction it almost made me flinch, “Are you kidding?!!! I already love Madeline! I love Madeline because she is yours!” How when she needs something (anything!) she will first go to Michael for his sound advice & his handy ways. How they are very monkey see/monkey do… whatever Michael is doing or wherever he is going, Madeline is not far behind. How when they walk, they walk almost exactly the same in their languid yet determined stride… and how she will look at him and say, “What if it’s possible, in a science fiction sort of way, that I am really yours? That we are really related by blood in some distant, otherworldly way?” And then they imagine the possibilities together, without any thought towards the ridiculousness of such things… but just the thought that they are so much alike that it has to be true.
How when she goes to sleep at night, he always says to her, “Sweet night, good dreams… I love you!” And she says, “Sweet night, good dreams… I love you too!”
Perhaps I’ve never shared, that when I show Michael photos of Madeline when she was a baby… he instantly feels pangs of jealousy & lost nostalgia, because he wasn’t there for her to watch her during those years of her life. And that when he realized that he only had a few years of “little Madeline” left before she started her inevitable shift towards independence & young adulthood… he made a very conscious & deliberate effort to fill their every spare moment together with things that would bond them together forever… like hiking, camping, surfing, music. And perhaps I am the only one that relishes in the fact that when someone says “stepdad” or “stepdaughter,” he immediately & firmly makes it known that “I am her dad and she is my daughter.”
I don’t know how I got so lucky in life.
All of Madeline’s life, I’ve said that if I could have ten Madelines, I would have ten. That’s how perfect she has been… from the moment I found out about her swimming in my belly, all the way up to this morning as I am typing this. She has gracefully made it through every transition in life, always defying the norms.
And in my lifetime, I’m not sure that I could’ve ever wished for or even imagined not only a perfect partner for myself, but a perfect parent for Madeline… as is Michael Abegg.
So again, I don’t know how I got so lucky in my life. But today, even more than normal, I am so very thankful that I did.
(last photo by jenny jimenez)
J Shoda - You guys have a beautiful family, I’m so happy for you all!
Kate Ford - Hugs to your family, and thank you for sharing your sweet story. What a special day!
paris - Beautifully expressed. Thank you for sharing your story…Good luck, health and happiness to you Abeggs….Vivian
Jenn - Now uve gone and made me cry. Im all nervous about your family pics now. what an honor to be there! love u, mads, michael. Happy Adoption Day~!!!
Chantal - I love you Abeggs something fierce. Thank you Catherine, for sharing this amazing story, and for making me a crying happy mess on a typical work day morning. I can’t wait to celebrate with you tonight all tonight.
Amy G - This brought tears to my eyes! I have known you and Madeline for so long(from afar), since she was just a tot. And since Michael you both are so happy! You both deserve it. Many Congratulations to all 3 of you on such a special day. I wish we lived closer so we could celebrate appropriately! Much Aloha! A
Wandy - OMG!!! Thanks for making me cry! I’m so glad that Michael has come into your life and has made you and Mad super happy!!
Madeline is a beautiful young lady and you both have done a wonderful super job raising her!
This might sound corny but I pray I can do a wonderful job with my princess as you have done with her!! <3 ya Kat!!
Stephanie Haller - Oh Cath. Whenever I need a good happy cry, I know I can count on coming here. Your honesty and love just pours from this post.
I am so, so happy that this day is finally here for you three. Love you.
amy grace - catherine, you just took my breath away and carried my heart with it. i am crying now, because this story is as beautiful as it gets, your love and honesty could take down anything in their path, and this could be my own story too, and my daughter’s. i feel this, i know this story, but you brought it to life in me, made me grateful, for you as much as me. and the photos are all love. you are amazing. totally amazing, as is your family.
Renata - Pure awesomeness to the very core.
Brendazzle* - My stepfather used to tell me he loved me “all the grains of sand on the beach” and that he loved my mother “all the grains of sand on the beach and all the ones that come home with you.”
You, Michael and Madeline put us to shame. Congratulations!
Phil - So awesome, such an incredible day. Congrats you sweet sweet family you.
Angie Abegg-Sanchez - Catherine, I’m certain Michael wonders how he got so lucky in life!You guys are so great together,congratulations!!
lydia {ever ours} - i love this story. so so happy for you guys! *throws confetti*
aileen - i love this. congratulations to all 3 of you.
Erin H. - Most favorite post ever by you. As a ‘step’ who never considered herself one- I love how you described their love as well you could with words. How lucky Michael is to have won it all with you and Mads! Celebrating with you all the way in NC!!
Heather Kamarainen - Beautifully written and beautiful pics (as usual)! Congrats on today!! :)
Bob - there is no greater experience than love…great post & images
Mom Abegg - The minute I started looking at the pictures, I knew I was going to cry. Then, Catherine, while reading what you wrote, the tears starting rolling down my cheeks. We feel so lucky to have you and Madline as part of our family even before today. Now it will be official. I have said many times “the similarities between Michael and Madeline feels like they have been father and daughter from the very beginning. Thank you to both you and Madeline for making our son feel so happy.
Kelli - SUCH a beautiful story. I’m cryin’ over heahhhhh….
Congratulations!!!!!!
Karen - So much love for you guys… incredible story of love. I’m so overjoyed for the 3 of you!!! Congrats!!
Jenny J - love love love love love love love you three. couldn’t be happier that this is finally official!!!
Elaine - There is a special place in this universe for people, like Michael, who choose to be parents despite blood or genetics. It just goes to show the type of people that your Michael and Madeline are that they would open their hearts this way and choose to create this bond; to call someone their own as if they were put on this earth for that specific reason. My heart is full for you and your beautiful family. It’s a family seemingly forged by the bond of love and choice. Madeline is really his and he is hers and now your are eachothers. Congratulations. Celebrate big!
sara montour - I adore this and am so ecstatic for your rad family. Can’t wait until the day when we can all finally hang out!
mike - This is so beautiful. Congratulations, all three of you.
jenny wohrle - happy adoption day! your writing made my eyes water & heart burst. congrats to michael & madi, so happy for the three of you!!!
saleina epperson - yay! happy day! such an amazingly beautiful post… tears. Congrats! xo
katealtmix - just beautiful :)
Jonas Peterson - So beautiful, Catherine. Congratulations to all of you.
Ali M - Oh Catherine! I am so happy for you all! Thank you for sharing your beautiful story. Madeline is so gorgeous… and I love that last photo of them together. I can’t wait to meet her soon. I am SO HAPPY for you guys!! : ) Lots of love.. Ali
Ali M - P.S. You have a beautiful way with words..
Heather Perera - That was so eloquently written! I can’t even begin to imagine how surreal this day must seem. I’m so blessed to have been able to be let into your family, if even just recently. I adore you both and couldn’t be happier. BTW, Lucca wants me to tell you “Happy Adoption Day!” He’s been saying it all morning! Much love to you guys!!! xoxxo
samm blake - beautiful :)
Stacey - Congratulations to the three of you! So many incredible stories in these photos, and such a deep feeling that your lives have been intertwined from the very start. You guys ooze love, celebrate laughter, and embody “family” – and I can see that from 3k miles away. Glad the law could finally catch on ;-)
megan - This is wonderful – wonderfully, beautifully written. Congrats to you all. What a wonderful story. What a wonderful life!
Auntie Jaime - Catherine, the way you write and the way you are able to express your feelings in words is breathtaking. This blog is absolutely beautiful. DJBBQ are so happy for all three of you. Thanks for the happy tears. Loves & Hugs.
Mary W - Oy! I’m so happy for you guys. What a beautiful family!!
Marci Mortensen - What a lucky girl! Beautiful prose and photographs.
Jennifer Freeman - Catherine,
This is such a beautiful tribute to the family you’ve created. Thank you for sharing.
Katie - I love this story, love your writing, love everything about this!
Baby Week | Seattle Family Photographer » CALIMA Portraits - [...] to do so, I have made this baby week on my blog. With my first ever birth story coverage, the adoption of my daughter Madeline to my husband Michael, and now some newborn [...]
Jonas Seaman - I’m sitting here with tears in my eyes. You guys are beautiful… and I’m so honored to know you. Congratulations on everything!
Nicole Firestone - I love those thoughts you wrote. Sniff. Beautiful life story. xo
David Manalo - The whole world has been a little bit happier since the three of you came together. What an important and blessed day this was. I am so thankful that I was able to be there!
enjoli - This is so beautiful and absolutely touching. I cried my eyes reading this. Congratulations to your wonderful family!
Kena Frank - OMG, reading this just brought tears to my eyes. You have such a gift with photos, a gift with words…and what a beautiful family you have, Catherine…
Seattle adoption photographer: The Abegg Family | Jennifer Tai Photo Artistry, the blog - [...] Catherine’s story is pretty remarkable. She was a single mom to Madeline for many years. In her own words, Catherine raised Madeline against all [...]
Don’t Mess With Texas | Texas Travel Film Photographer » CALIMA Portraits - [...] these to myself. I’m sure you remember that just a few days before leaving for this trip that my husband adopted my daughter, and this was our celebratory vacation. This was us being together in the middle of nowhere and [...]
Posy Quarterman - This is so beautiful and heart-string-pully (totally and official term). Thank you for sharing your story. And dang your girl is gorgeous!
Aimee Molinaro - This is beautiful! Life is so good!
Angela Carlyle - Talk about heart felt…I just cried too! So touching and true how unexpected & wonderful life can be. You deserve every bit of happiness that comes your way. I feel in my heart the love you have for these two when I read this. I think it caused such a strong reaction in me because I feel the same way about my boys. Thank you for sharing this!!!
Annie - And now I am crying. Truly beautiful stuff, Catherine!